THE SENILITY PRAYER
> > > > > > God grant me the senility to forget the people I > never liked anyway, > > the good fortune to run into the ones that I do, > > and the eyesight to tell the difference. > > > > Now that I'm older (but refuse to grow up) > > here's what I've discovered.... > > > > ONE - I started out with nothing, and I still have > most of it. > > > > TWO - My wild oats have turned into prunes and All > Bran. > > > > THREE - I finally got my head together, now my > body is falling apart. > > > > FOUR - Funny, I don't remember being absent > minded. > > > > FIVE - All reports are in, life is now officially > unfair. > > > > SIX - If all is not lost, where is it? > > > > SEVEN - It is easier to get older than it is to > get wiser. > > > > EIGHT - Some days you are the dog, Accidents in the back seat cause kids. > > > > TWELVE - It's hard to make a come back when > > you haven't been anywhere. > > > > THIRTEEN - The only time the world beats a path to > your door > > is when you're in the bathroom. > > > > FOURTEEN - If God wanted me to touch my toes, > > he would have put them on my knees. > > > > FIFTEEN - When I'm finally holding all the cards, > > why does everyone decide to play chess? > > > > SIXTEEN - It's not hard to meet expenses...they're > everywhere. > > > > SEVENTEEN - The only difference between a rut and > > a grave is the depth. > > > > EIGHTEEN - These days, I spend a lot of time > thinking about the > > hereafter... > > I go somewhere to get something and then wonder > what I'm here after. > > >
